Cruel fantasy.... a true story.

Sitting here reminiscing, I can’t help but wonder about him.  How is he?  Is he still as handsome as he was then? Is he still married? Hmmm Oh yes, that one. I almost forgot, lost in my own thoughts, my memories…fantasies.

How the memories come rushing in like a flood, one small memory then another and another. How we met. I remember the day clearly, it was a martial arts pic nic. You saw me, a younger shyer version of who I am now. In mid form, you came in the guise of helping me, but I had all ready had my eye on you. A school girl crush, so to speak, I had been watching you for several years. I can see your face as you read this now, a smile, a little bit of wonder at how I knew exactly how you would react. My sweet, troublesome, and aggravating Gemini.

I stood in stance, you came to assist, my instructors ever watchful of you, later learned why, but for that moment in time I was frozen by your gaze. You stayed close during the lesson, always willing to help. I thought it amusing that the men around me were so quick to correct me, to stand by my side, I noticed they watched you.   Curiosity getting the best of me I asked one of my brothers, “who is that man? And why are you guys keeping me from him?”

“No one for you to worry or concern yourself about, just keep away from him.”  I was told...

Oh, what a cruel answer, I was young, impetuous quick disobey, to rebel so upon hearing that I should stay away I made up my mind to find out why.  It was a matter of time before I was wondering who you were and why was a handsome man so forbidden to me.

Later, you came to find me sitting alone under a tree starring off into the distance. We chatted briefly, laughed easily and enjoyed the quiet electricity of our attraction to each other.  I knew within those moments I wanted to be in your arms.  With confidence you asked for my phone number and smiled as I slipped it into your hand as we shook goodbye. I drove home quietly, my imagination going wild, was this the perfect man for me or what? Tall, strong, handsome, a national ranking black belt, I fell in love with the dream of you. 

The next day we talked for hours, about everything and nothing. We chatted, texted, emailed; it was funny how I felt the need to be connected to you. Ours was a fantasy, a dream, a perfect moment in time where imagination could run wild, hopes were high. Oh how these fantastic moments fade when our reality is discovered. A whirl wind romance of passion and words, and moans every night and by day looks from across the room, exchanged smiles and lingering touches as you corrected my form in class.  Knowing every moment I wanted nothing more than to touch you.

You are so dear to me, my forbidden affection, my first older man, my first affair, my first foolish dream. The hotel you clumsily took us to, I knew it was wrong to ignore the right from the wrong, to pretend it doesn’t matter. All it took was your lips on mine. The way you held me, your touch worshiping my every curve. Never had a man touched me as you did. As if I were a precious treasure that could be broken if not touched sweetly, gently, slowly. Your lips caressed mine, first just lip to lip, grazing my bottom lip lightly with your teeth, your hand at the base of my neck. We kissed long and sweet  my heart wanted so believe, to live if only for a moment in the fantasy and in that moment I was only yours.

 Truly, fairy tales are cruel. To fill a girls head with fancy, ribbons, horses, moral and gallant knights in shining armor whose ultimate goal in life is to rescue her and make her his queen. God, how I wanted that story to be mine! So, I let my heart pretend, I let my body enjoy and for a short moment I quieted my cruel moral voice that screamed to beware. 

Lost in your hands, you made it seem so easy, you removed my blouse as your lips explored my throat and shoulders. My head tilted back you put your lips to my breast, first one then the other.  I don’t know when or how but there I lay on the bed with you fully dressed standing over me, and then you removed my jeans, panties. I felt shy as your eyes hungrily took me in. Kneeling, your spread my legs open and gently kissed my inner thighs. My moral voice completely forgotten, my body hypnotized by your touch, thoughts of nothing but you and your soft full lips. Lips that caressed my shaved skin and wet pink pussy making my body ached for your touch. I moaned as your tongue, warm, soft and gentle lapped at my soft velvet skin. Soft, hard, smooth and wet all at the same time, I moaned as you circled my hard little clit with your tongue. Tilting my hips to your lips, afraid to cum too fast, not sure if I could stop myself but wanting to lose myself in the sensations that spread through my body. I gently stroked your cheek and the back of your neck, finally holding your head in my hands as I moaned and grinding my pussy against your lips.  You sucking on my clit, gently pulling, a whole different feeling took over my body, I could feel my juices dripping out and your mouth made its way down. I gasped as you slid you tongue inside of me, spreading my legs further. I knew you were sucking my juices out of me and the thought made me gasp, shivering and moaning louder. I came then, gushing warm juices into your mouth, you held me in place until I thought I would go crazy, my legs shook and I tried helplessly to push you away, wanting you to stop, knowing you would release me when you wanted.

 Then you stood over me, starring at me, you slowly undressed. I sat up, crawling across the bed towards you. You pulled me off the bed and kissed me deep, your lips tasted of my juices; I let my lips explore your your mouth, your neck, making my way down your chest, to your hips, my hands exploring your body before following with my lips. How sweet you tasted, your body smelt of soap and clean sweat. My lips found the head of your cock, erect, running my tongue around the head squeezing the base to make that clear little bead of juice leak out. I love how you moaned, closing your eyes, your hands tangled in my hair. You moved your hips in rhythm with my mouth as I caressed your ball as you pushed your cock deep into my mouth.  I love the way your head fell back as you thrust deeper into my mouth. 

You pushed me away long enough to put me back on the bed, turning me so that I lay flat on my stomach, you entered me while kissing my back and shoulders. I moaned loudly into the pillow as you pushed your entire 9 inch cock inside of me. We fucked like this until I came, you moaned that you could feel my juices, warm, flowing over your cock….

The picture you took of us...... remember?  xoxo Kristyn... call me ;-)

 You tried so hard to not cum, but I felt your body responding to mine. You let me ride you and I knew I was going to make you cum then. I rode you, bouncing on your cock first fast then slow; I felt your cock get bigger inside of me as I slowed down my movement to feel every inch of you. You moaned, something about where did I want you to cum as I tightened my pussy around you and started grinding, my cue to make you mine.   You moaned and I felt you release your hot sperm into me as I kept grinding, making you moan over and over as I felt your cock throbbing inside of me, I moaned as my body collapsed against to you in orgasm. We lay together, after; you played with my hair and told me you loved me. Cruel fantasy that you are, you knew just what to say to break my heart.

Later, you told me the truth, later you insisted you would leave her, your wife, your children. Cruel morals, I could not have what I wanted; I could not bear the weight or responsibility of such an action. Woken from my dream, my fantasy a cruel taunt, a small glimpse of what I could have if only I would lower myself to that level.  How you begged me to not push you out of my life. My heart broke each time the phone would ring. I would stare at the phone, your name on the screen, insisting, demanding that I answer. I could only look away, tears in my eyes. My Prince Charming, my Knight in Shining Armor, belonged to another and so I distanced myself from you, disappearing completely from your life. A quick glimpse of you across the room at functions, a fast handshake, while trying not to meet your eyes. I hid behind my superiors, the men who protect me as a little sister. Never did they know how my heart yearned for you. Years went by.

Now, here you are again. I am older, wiser, but still love you very much. I am spoken for, you are still married. We sit over lunch, ten years later. Sharing pictures of our children, talking of old times. Lines surround you eyes as you smile, a touch of grey at your temples. I resist letting my fingers touch your hair. Oh, how you try to convince me to let you back in my life, how I wish I could.  You talk of our lost love and faded dreams, as if to pick up an old trinket and brush the dust off of it. I smile at you, and this, my love, is my response to you. This letter, my favorite memory of our short time together and an attempt to explain that our love was nothing but a cruel fantasy that could never be more than a few fleeting moments, and that my dear, is not enough me, and so we,  you and I,  will for me always be a cruel fantasy, the one I could never have, our lives were not meant to be shared.

Goodbye my cruel passion, my first forbidden lover....

for now....