The submissive

I was never one to be thought of as a submissive woman. In fact most people I know would think me to be a dominant personality.  The truth is that both are true.  I have always been strong, I didn't have much choice.  How ever all my life I have been so busy being the leader, that i did not know that I truly longed for some one else to lead.  I have been the providor and the protector for so long that I am tired and weary.  It had always been my thought that the man should lead, provide, and protect and the woman follow him, serve and support him.

The problem with that kind of thinking was that I assumed all men had the same values that I did and it wasn't discussed before I rushed into my marriage. My husband is of the school if thought that he is entitled to be taken care of.  It was a hard long road I
traveled with him over the years.  I stayed with him because of my Christian values and beliefs in marriage.  However, after years of his affairs, his verbal abuse,   I grew weary and realized that not even God can change a man who does not want to change.

I decided that I too deserved to feel happy. I deserved to feel beautiful and cherished and valued.  I needed to be weak so that I could be strong again.   I believe that is what made me become interested in the Dom, Sub relationship.  It isn't for everyone but for me, I find peace in knowing I am protected, loved and cherished at his side. My only regret is that it took me so long to realize where my true peace could be found. 

How does that work with me being married and my Dom/Sub relationship being outside the marriage? It is a precarious road that I walk I will admit but I would walk it a million times over to experience that which I have experienced with my Sir in a short time. 

I do not see my husband and I together in the future, we are better people seperated, unless he some how changes over night. It's been eleven years, it wont happen.

As for my Sir, he said to me that as long as we are both mutually happy with each other we will be together and he doesn't see us ending any time soon.  Neither do I, but I take this with a grain of salt.  He calls me his skeptical girl because I have been programmed to not believe compliments.  He thinks it sad, I think it tragic.  Every woman has the right to feel beautiful, perfect and sexy.  I am grateful for my time with my Sir, for his kindness, his sweet touch, his gentle strength and his attention. Even for the spankings he delivers. His hand across my ass, a release of control as I writhe under the sting of his belt across my breasts, stomach, ass and clit. He touches me in ways that make me moan and want more of him. His dominance is like my drug, his words lift me up, his touch leads me, guides me, his arms protect me, his release is my peace.  I am grateful for the way he cherishes me.

Again, many thanks to my followers on twitter, saw this pic and had to add it to my thoughts. What a perfect sentiment. Xoxo